I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
