So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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