Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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