at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
