I'm drive I can fine osifer
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
