I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
