you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
