his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
