I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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