Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
