Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Randomize
