Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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