Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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