Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
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