I got chris browned last night
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
