So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
The air was thick with penises
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
