Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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