Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
