You really coming over, don't trick.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
