Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
