I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
