just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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