So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
