Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
