Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
