Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
