And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
