The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
