Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
