i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
