so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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