apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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