she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
