If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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