I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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