would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
