and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
