OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Randomize
