If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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