Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
