She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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