we have officially lost it.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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