Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
