Sacagawea was the original milf.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
