after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I just gargled with NyQuil
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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