After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
