I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
