I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
