All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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