Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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