just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I am one with the molecules
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Randomize
