Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
